You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I am naked and annoyed.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
