I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You don't make any sense
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