don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
