ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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