Just cropdusted the office
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
