a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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