'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think your dad took our porno
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
