I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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