He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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