Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
