I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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