so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize