He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
