Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
