genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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