i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
