Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
