he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
