well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
