i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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