did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
