Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
