it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
