Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
