Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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