this just has baby written all over it
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I think we might need a safe word for this...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
