just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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