once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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