she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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