i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
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I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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