She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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