we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
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