i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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