your room smells of hookers.
And success
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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