Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
