i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
