Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize