The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
