11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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