Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
