no, he came in my armpit
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
