A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize