I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
