I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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