My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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