At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We got so high we made milksteak
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Your cock deserves a montage
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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