yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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