Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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