But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
