Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
