i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
