Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
