It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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