This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
