I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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