so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
