I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
