Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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