I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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